And once again, sadness has flooded me, despair has drowned me and impotence is making my body disappear...leaving only eyes. Eyes without lids that cannot help but see. I am dying my body dry from the inside out, dry, rotten without moist.

Shit!! It´s happening again, i cannot breath. The only way out is giving up , and i don't like that solution i hate that solution, no creativity, no strength, no will, no direction, no.... nothing... not even that I can grasp.
Sinking into the deep, into the dark, into the sweet selfdestructuction, into something I know too well and I feel too comfortable. Fading again, I feel so tempted to fade...again.

If I don't move my body eventually will disappear, it will shrink and shrink and become smaller and smaller to the point where I am now with just only eyes to see, not even eyelids to be able to stop looking the massacre around me, just the eyes to witness my impotence.